Inner Beauty

Tonight I went to the bars with some family and friends. It was a chaotic night, lots of drunk people, arguing, upset people, and laughter. I found myself looking at women and thinking, wow she dances really strange and that chick thinks she's really good at dancing, that one looks really nice! I just kept going on and on in my head about other people and then I looked at the people I was with and realized the same thing. They dance funny, they look nice, they think they're good at dancing too. I have always thought that about myself, but what I didn't realize that I realized today or tonight, is that no matter who you are and what you look like, you will feel good, sexy, and beautiful on the dance floor. You feel good about yourself, you think everyone is watching you because you're good looking and because they're interested. Whether this is true or not is not the case, what we feel inside is shown on the outside. People may look at us (like I looked at others) and think that person is crazy or whatever, but it doesn't always phase us. We still feel what we feel.

I then realized that no matter how I look on the dance floor, as long as I took time to get dressed and put on makeup, I was going to feel good, sexy, and like I have the world in my hands, whether I am fat or not. Skinny women feel that same way and looking around and from my own experience so do the plus size women, so did the cute lady in the wheelchair.

It's all about inner beauty, how you feel, what makes you feel this way. It's the surroundings of music playing in the background, your outfit, the makeup you took time into putting on, the perfume you chose, the lipstick you're wearing, each curl in your hair. You feel this wheather others think it to be true or not, so I'm wondering, if I wasn't a plus size girl, would it really matter? I would still feel inner beauty, I would still dance as crazy weird as I do now and feel as wonderful on the dance floor as I do now, so what's the difference if I was big or not?

My health you say? Who said I wasn't healthy being plus size?

Being Good

I have been good at working out for the past week. Making sure I work out at least half an hour and if I'm too sore to do it one day, I can skip. Now I'm not saying skipping is good, but for a beginner (someone who hasn't worked out in a very long time) it's a good thing to keep slow and pace yourself. I don't want to overwork my muscles and I don't want to crash. I'm still taking classes and working so I have to make sure I'm up for that as well. I don't want to be too sore to not be able to carry heavy stuff or go up and down the stairs at my work place.

Keeping it consistent helps too. Working everyday for half an hour is good, until I can do more than I will boost it up to an hour and more difficult exercises.

Last week I did pushups, full on pushups and I was so happy! Haven't done full on pushups in forever!! Thanks to the bf for helping me and pushing me to do it. I learned in yoga that it's not all about sweating, it's more about the exercise.

Another thing that I have been following is that I should not starve myself, I can eat whatever I want but limit myself to portions. So I can eat whatever I want but in smaller portions that what I have been doing. This works! Whenever I crave something and I'm like, no I am on a diet and need exercising, I just think to myself, don't cut yourself out of the things you want to eat, just limit the portion!

It does really help!!

Let's keep being motivated!! I feel like this year I will accomplish a lot of things!! :D

My Same New Year's Resolution BUT Better

Every year, just about, I have been putting this on my new year's resolution list: to lose weight.

I have failed every time.

But this year I have come up with a plan, along with the bf, that I will lose 70 lbs. by the end of the year. It doesn't matter how I do it, but I have to do it.

Now this is actually only one of the few things on my list.

I wanted to be more realistic, and reading and looking at that number you may say that it isn't realistic, but for me I see that it is.

In the past I have always wanted to lose weight and haven't been doing the right thing by specifying how much. I always say lose weight, but how much is actually losing weight, what if I just lost a pound? Would that be fulfilling my new year's resolution?

This year I have gotten to be more specific in specifying how much. This'll help me determine how to go about doing so.

The bf has a goal of losing weight as well, so we have come up with a plan that we will work-out together and work-out twice a day, once in the morning and once at night!

Let's hope we both go through with it!!!

We really need to stay healthy if we want children in our future!! :D

You Should Apply To Be A Plus Size Model

This past weekend I went home for an early X-mas party with my humungous family and for the party I was wearing a skirt from Forever21, black tights to match my skirt, and a zebra printed shirt from Wal-mart. My sister told me that I looked gorgeous in the fake lashes and the zebra printed shirt. She also said that I always tend to look good and that I should apply to be a plus size model! It made me happy of course and think that maybe I should keep pursuing it. It's not going to happen on the first try, I'll have to keep at it and keep doing what I can do better myself and to get out there. I think that once school is over, I can pursue that more. I only have a semester left!

I'm really happy that other people think that I should be a plus size model other than me. It would be such an amazing opportunity for me! I definitely need to shed off some weight so that I am more fit. I don't need to lose a dramatic amount of weight, just enough so that I can be fit and not flabby!

I hope that I can at least accomplish that, and then maybe my chances of being considered will be higher!

Don't give up! Keep trying!

Jealous of Losing Weight

I am so jealous of others losing weight. I know they deserve it because they work out and have been doing it for a long time in order to lose weight, but I am SO JEALOUS. I want to tone down and look decent, I feel like flab is just flowing. EWWW. That was too descriptive.

Anyway, a few of my friends that I haven't seen in a long time have gotten so skinny and looking at them they look so good!!! Like seriously? I need to do what they are doing.

So the BF and I have been gaining weight together and we just promised each other that no matter how busy we will be, we have to work out 3 times a week. If we can't do it on the weekdays, we will do it on the weekends!

PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS! I NEED IT SO BADLY!!!!!

I guess jealousy can motivate me too, if nothing else will.

Stretch Mark Devastation

When a person sees stretch marks on their body, it is so devastating.

Lately I have been so busy that I forget to go to the gym or exercise. Since I have been back in the states I have only gained weight. So sad and disappointed in myself.

I walked a lot in NZ, now I drive and have no time to go walking, plus no where to go to walk. I guess those are just excuses because I usually am lazy anyway.

But I did want to exercise and do all those good things, I have seen so many people lose weight lately, it has inspired me to. But yet I don't do anything.

Do you ever feel that way? See people and be motivated but just not motivated ENOUGH?

When will it be my day to motivate myself or be motivated enough to lose some of this weight?

Of course I am labeling myself as a plus size, but it doesn't mean I can't be plus size and healthy, it doesn't mean I can't lose weight and still be plus size! I want to keep some of my figure, but I definitely want to and need to shape up!

The world will laugh and I will shed tears.

These stretch marks are such a devastation.

OOTD Plus Size Style

Hi Ladies!!!!

OOTD- Outfit Of The Day

So on my youtube channel, I have been doing some here and there blurbs about being plus size and such, and that wasn't what I intentionally wanted to talk about, but I'm finding it more and more helpful for my viewers! I also stated in a few videos that I wouldn't be doing any OOTD videos, but seeing that a few of my viewers ask for it and that when I searched, there weren't many, I figured it would be helpful.

That way I can get videos out there more and it would be something different for me and my viewers. I am horrible at coming up with videos, since my lighting is always horrible and I never have time to sit down and do videos. It's great for all of us!!!

I hope that the gals that tune into my outfits don't hate it too much, lol. I tend to be boring and wear casual more than anything, but even casual can look nice plus size style!!!

Learn to live in your body and love your body!!!

I'll link my channel below if you haven't already been!!! :D
http://www.youtube.com/user/janika3689