Friday, June 25, 2010
Looking at myself in the mirror before I showered, I was examining my hips! I was amazed at how fast they grew out without me even knowing. I was saddened because I hate the fact that they are growing, bigger hips mean new pants, which isn't a good thing, I don't want to HAVE to spend money on pants... I also saw the nasty stretchmarks that are lingering all over, the ones that I have never seen before... I have come to realize that I have been far to worried about other things than my body. I'm overweight, most likely unhealthy, but how would I know? I can't afford to go in for a check up. Exercising even once a week is too much, I hate to have to think about it and having to push myself to go there. I want to be self-motivated there and be able to do it without forcing myself. I want to want to do it and I want to have fun doing it. I used to exercise every few times a week, now it's like I don't have time because of my two jobs and then on the weekends I want to go out instead of spend time working out. I guess that's really no excuse, it's probably and is because I am too lazy and I feel disgusting when I work out, I don't ever want anyone to be around when I'm working out because I feel grouse and look it too! See what one little thing can do to me? DEPRESSION I tell ya.